Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Gun Pried From Heston's Cold, Dead Hands

Actor Charlton Heston's gun was pried from his cold, dead hands as promised by the actor Monday as he was laid to rest in his Moses costume.

The mob of gun worshippers flooded the funeral home demanding Heston give up the gun as he had promised the crowd when he became the spokesman for the NRA. Billy Joe Dunphux claimed, "It's only fair...he did say we could have it when we pry it from his cold, dead hands."

The gun in question did indeed require some prying as several firemen and one hospital worker used the jaws of life to pry the gun from the diseased actor's hands. "Boy, howdy he did have some kind of a kung fu grip!" chuckled Ross Rosenburg, local fireman.

The gun will go on display at a local kindergarten school in Alabama Wednesday.

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