Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Idaho Senator Fond of Man Meat?

It is being reported that Idaho Senator Larry Craig pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge in connection with a complaint concerning his alleged "lewd conduct" in a men's restroom in a Minneapolis airport.

Mr. Craig says the rumors now swirling around him are completely false. "I am not a pole smoker, and have never been a pole smoker," said the senator in a press conference. "I am not, nor have I ever been a cock grabber, ball sniffer, or packer of fudge!" he screamed defiantly at the crowd that gathered to witness his histrionics.

"The only thing I am guilty of is beating my wife, laundering thousands of dollars of campaign contributions, and huffing on a pipe full of meth now and again. But I have never, I repeat never fondled a man's scrotum or taken it up the rear!"

He then ended the press conference abruptly, yelled "Buy Idaho" repeatedly at the top of his lungs, and threw dozens of enormous Russet potatoes at the crowd, knocking one onlooker unconscious when a potato ricocheted of his forehead.

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