Saturday, September 1, 2007

Adult Psychedelic Drug OK'd For Kids

The FDA has recently approved the use of psychedelic drugs by children.

The new drug comes in a tie-dyed style bottle and a free Greatful Dead CD.

"We felt it was time to introduce a new generation to psychedelia, bongs, free love, sit-ins, paranoia and free love. Wait...did I say 'free love' twice? Wow, man, I'm fried!" commented Dr. Hash Stevens of the FDA.

"We test all kinds of good shit here at the FDA man..and this one is definitely approved. APPROVED FOR PARTY TIME, MAN!"

The makers recommend adding a drop or two of the substance to babies' bottles to get them used to the experience. The hope is that if they are slowly introduced to it, they will see visions of unicorns and rainbows rather than alligators, demons, and giant mutant spiders which would "ruin the trip, man".

"Back in the 60's there was no ADD or crap like that man, and the FDA, through experimentation, has found it's the lack of psychedelic drugs and love that makes kids all nutso these days," said Stevens.

"That and TV. TV is fuckin' evil, man! I used to just spend hours staring at my black light posters for amusment. 300-something channels hurts my head dude! Besides, I have 1000 worlds inside my mind, man! Why would I need TV?"

The new Drug will be market by Phizer under the brand name "Li'l Johnny Trippin'", and is expected to retail for $39.95 a bottle.

It will also be available for five proofs of purchase from Cap'n Crunch boxes plus $2.50 postage and handling.

Please allow six months to two years for delivery.

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