Troops Coming Home

Washington-- President Bush yesterday said he was bringing the troops home...sort of.

Mr. Bush, who has asked to be referred to as “El PresidenteGrande'” from now on, said he was giving in to the pressures of the American people and bringing five troops home and redeploying some 500,000.

“O.K.! O.K.! The American people have spoken...and your El Presidente has heard your cries!” said Bush Wednesday. "I've ordered the gradual reduction in troop levels effective right away."

When pushed on just how many troops will be coming home Bush finally said “five”.

“We will begin bringing five lucky soldiers home every four weeks until all of our boys come home,” said Bush, to which the crowd responded with loud boos. “Before ya git your panties in a bunch let me finish, dag gum it! I'm also going to be sending our boys some entertainment this Christmas!” yelled El Presidente. “I will be sending 500,000 men what I like to call the entertainment core! That's right, 500,000 of my finest military entertainers...who also happen to be soldiers.”

When asked if this was just shuffling of numbers and words the President scratched his hind quarters, smelled his finger and remarked. “Huh?”