Thursday, September 6, 2007

Suckers Who Bought iPhones Out 200 Bucks

This week Apple announced that it is cutting the price of its iPhone by 200 dollars. The price reduction was too much too soon, some bitched.

Steve Jobs laughed, “What a bunch of bufoons! 500 bucks for a phone? I just wanted to see how many hard core Apple retards were out there, and apparently it's raining morons! Thanks, suckers!” Jobs said as he lit a cigar with a 100 dollar bill.

“Oh, by the way, next week we will be releasing the 900 dollar iPod..better get in line now!” Jobs said, barely able to retain his composure.

Ned Needlejerk of New Jersey said he was furious. “I waited outside the Apple store for a month! Ate beans and grasshoppers every night to survive, as well as braved torrential rains just to buy this plastic piece of shit! How could Apple do this to me? This cheap paperweight depreciated faster than my Ford Focus!”

When asked if he was going to buy one of the newer 900 dollar iPods Needlejerk said, “Hell yeah! I'll be getting in line tomorrow night! What are the odds of something like this happening again? Ooh, i just can't wait!!”

Jobs announced several other Apple products this week. The iSpoon, a music playing spoon, a music playing vacume cleaner branded the iSuck and a 500 dollar Apple-branded rock called uIdiot.

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