Monday, July 23, 2007

Radcliffe Turns 18, Gains Access To Millions, Goes Apeshit Crazy

Daniel Radcliffe, star of the popular "Harry Potter" movies, gains access to millions as he turns 18 years old.

The young star recently spent 19 million dollars on one bottle of rare wine, and has only $1 million left.

Radcliffe says he will spend the other million on getting laid.

"After that, who knows??? I'll go wherever the wind blows me," slurred a visibly drunk and disoriented Radcliffe.

"As long as that chick keeps writing these Potter books, I'll be rollin' in dough. I don't have much to worry about for at least two years."

"For the longest time my parents wouldn't let me touch the money...not even for an Xbox 360 or Nintendo you know I did as soon as I got my hands on the money? YEAH, BOUGHT NEW PARENTS! Jan and Dean, my new mom and dad, are great. They let me do whatever the hell I want!"

Radcliffe then stumbled off into a crowd of party goers with what appeared to be a Playboy bunny clinging to each arm.

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